I feel like the title to Marci Shimoff’s book this morning…”Happy For No Reason”. Which feels like a, getting everything you want for Christmas kind of a feeling, without the getting. Went to sleep playing the music last night and left all of it on repeat. Good nights sleep. Woke to a wee little snow and am laughing as I wanted to get the cars washed today. LOL
So my intention for today is contemplating determination…actually not conscious why, just the word that popped into my minds eye as I typed the word intention, so here we go…
Towards the end of the music I realize there has been an ongoing stream of words and images and I wonder if I can bring them all to paper. I play the song again very quietly as I type to help trigger what I experienced.
The first image is my children’s father at our daughter’s basketball game yesterday. I see the determination he has had to create more for himself monetarily and for our extended family in a project we just finished. This is his legacy.
I see my own determination in that project to let go of what initially scared me and to completely surrender to trusting him. That created so much beautiful healing over the last year. To trust without evidence, to be determined to see the underlying positive wave of energy waiting to be revealed, that was really to me, what it all was about.
A huge wave of love washes over me for him in this moment.
I see the word “block” before my eyes. I see my determination. I see it as an energy that is always available to me. It is a choice for me at any time to bring it forward.
In this project (Oneness Becomes You), I am shown that again my trust, my determination, and my faith dissolved the blocks that came up for me. This project feels like my legacy.
I see Mother Theresa nourishing souls with food and love and I see myself as nourishing souls with music and love. This is my “cause”.
We are mal-nourished in our sense of self.
I am determined to continue to change that.
I remember my mother’s advice when I was young…
“Do not let anyone or anything get in the way of reaching your dreams, not even me.”
I am reminded of one of the times in the last few months of birthing this project, my ego freaked out. It wondered, in a nutshell, “if I build it, would they come?” So I posed this question to my angels.
My answers were questions tossed back at me.
“Deborah, are you having fun?”
“Deborah, are you enjoying yourself?”
“That is all that matters, it’s about that in the first place, how you feel about it how thrilled you are.”
Oh ya, I was reminded it is not about the end point, it is about the stuff between here and there. I am also reminded of the voice that said, “Follow this through till the end.” I was shown something like a ball of yarn unwinding and being aware of the end point far, far away.
I have no idea of all that is along the string, but I am clear that I said yes to it and I am determined to see it through.
I see the words “that is all”. I feel complete for today. Even though there was more. I trust it is all within me and should I need it, it will make itself known.
Sending love to you,